Feeling numb,
yet at the same time part of my heart still feeling sore.
still tearing myself to sleep.

Except that now, what trouble me wasn't just the issue about us.
Its freaking true that when one bad things happens,
Everything just come crashing down on you altogether.
Ohmygod! really at the peak of breaking down.
feeling damn scare,
scare that I will go back to that girl, 2.5 years back.
Can't. I really took damn long to recover.

So please shirlyn.
Stay strong.
Be that cheerful & bubbly girl everyone see you as.
Don't Cry anymore.
I know it really hurts.
But no. its really time to stop crying.

but, its really too hurtful.
yet i'm constantly trying to act like nothing happen at all

Sis was talking to me today,
telling me that she was quite concern abt me,
Past few nights she had been overhearing me, Crying.
I'm sorry sis. but right now, i cant talk to anyone abt anything.
Not just you, some of my close friends had also keep texting me & checking on me.
But i cant say anything. It's just too painful to even think about it.

I don't really talk to my Manager, not even text(at lest not private issue).
But i text him today, asking when i can officially start work
Prolly this period i should try to distract myself by making myself real busy
Contemplating whether to get a 2nd job anot.
But its really hard to find temp job recently =/

If there is really such thing as guardian angel,
where are you? coz i really need you now.
I'm dying.. soon..




Day 07; since i lost you.

It's all over now.
Everything ended.
Period.
All that's left now is my torn & shattered heart.

Drove out
But subconsciously drive till yishun dam.

Been here 2 times with you.
First time was after having supper with you.
2nd time was just awhile,
It was tat day when you are out whole night.
End up having to use the letters which I've help you collected as a reason to make you come meet me
You honestly have no idea how pissed I was actually
You got me so worried thy I totally couldn't slp for the whole night

Funny how this memories still freshly printed inside my head

But again time to remind myself that it's all over now
& I honestly feel that you're the guy I've always been looking for - My last one
But Everything is too late now
It's all over.
We've missed it alrdy

This love is getting too difficult,
It's starting to hurt us both, and making us hard to breath
So it's time to let go.
This time round, I'm really letting go of you.

But I won't forget what I've said to you,

亲爱的
今生  我们相遇的太迟了
但请不要忘记了  我是真的爱你
我会等的  等来生
可是  这次换你来等我  换你来找我
一定要找到我  不要在让我等太久了  好吗？


I'm missing your smile
But I know it no longer belong to me anymore...


Day06, Since you left me.

Things seems to get from Bad to Worst btw us.
Could'nt sleep at all thru the night.
It really starts to make me think abt us.
Everything is affecting us, Badly. Including our feelings.

Again,
I was tearing thru the night,
Tearing & hoping to doze off like i usually do.
but this time round i just cant slp.
Eye wide open,
Words, Memories all keep come rushing to me,
Everything just cut me deep and hard.
Feeling every min & sec how my heart breaking up, every drip of blood flowing out of it.
A Pain, that i don't even know how to describe.
The Pain that for past few years, i keep preventing & cautiously keeping myself away from.

You told me that you are feeling Numb,
but  do you know how torn my heart is now?
You came in as a Surprise, Sudden, unexpected & yet sweet and Pleasant.
But you left, ripping apart every single part of me.
Like drug, i'm addicted to it. yet now, its really killing me.
Keep asking myself what have i done to deserve all that is happening.
What the FCUK DID I DO?! why am i going thru this?!

Prolly is true,
i'm always just a fool.



I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop
Started with a perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
There's no moving on



Day05;
Since the day you left.

Has been awhile since I last blog..
But somehow here is the only place left whereby I can vent out all my emotions

Past 1 mth have been a emotional month for me.
Is like Falling in love with the right person at the wrong time

Feeling like I have missed crossing path with him many times
& when finally I got to meet him,
He no longer belong to me

All left of me was a broken heart.
Constantly aching since tat day(17th).
Hate myself for feeling so weak and fragile.
All this while, I have alrdy given up on 'relationship' such topic
Thinking all it ever does was really just 'break, burn, hurt & end'
But it was like finally someone tat came along and make you want to start believing it again.
But... Hmmm

Can't help feeling unfair.
Wasn't fair in the first place in terms of time
Do you think I was given a chance to choose the 'timing' to cross path with you?
Do you think I was even given tat opportunity to show how much I can & wanna be there for you?
No I don't! I don't get to choose at all.
Yet, it's like I'm suppose and have to face this 'consequence' alone.


& My heart just can't stop bleeding.

Know that I'm might be a fool.
But why is it tat I still choose to wait for you.

Day04;
Since we took a step back & agreed to be each's special friend.

HELLO!

Testing.

SHIRLYN <3

was not feeling tat well ytd,
somehow, don know why have dis very uncomfortable weird feeling,
a feeling tat is so wrong.
which i shldn't have felt in the first place.

guess study too much,
making me abit going bonkers?
LOL!

gotta continue to study hard! XD

AFTER SUCH a LONG TIME;
somehow have tat feel to blog again!


well, i know i shldn't be doing dis,
coz exams is juz NXT week.
but, markting is really killing my brain cell.
LOL!
drinking coffee now,
is so funny tat my dad & bro are shock to see tat i'm drinking coffee.
common, 
i'm a adult le. LOL!
& i muz start acting like one!
LOL!


anw, 
seriously, 
dis exam is making me panic & scare,
but have no one to blame except for myself.
dis sem, too much stuff happen tat i am so SLACK!
sianed.


* why am i still thinking of you;
thanks god, i didn let dis feeling go deep,
juz a matter of time to earse you off.

Designer :Rissa


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